Death in my Arms

Few years back, one day I was going to balangir for some work, and that time I was going there by bus. As I love travelling by bus at that time. And I was a bit late arriving at the bus stand so all the seat was occupied. And then I asked the conductor to give me a seat and he replied he will do so. And then I had to stand there and wait for the passenger to get down so that I could take their place. At the time of leaving the stand the bus was full packed. There was no place to stand also. I was just standing near a seat holding the luggage carrier which was just above the seat.

Just when the bus left the town an old lady stepped into the bus from nearby village, I think she was of 65 to 70 age. Somehow she managed to come to the middle part of the bus, I was watching her. She was asking each and everyone  sitting in the seat to give her a seat as she cant stand long, and  she had to go 25 kms, which bus will take 45 minutes to cover. But no one was listening to her. All the passengers including men and women were ignoring her, and asking her to step aside. All were looking at her with a hate look, even some of them asked the old lady not to touch them. Slowly she came near me I was facing the window, and the old lady was just behind me in the middle. I asked her where is she going and she told me about her, that she is not well and wanna sit but no one’s willing to give her a seat. Then I told her to wait for some time then she will get a seat.

As it was winter most of the windows were closed due to the cold breeze, they left very small space for air to pass through the bus.  And the crowd was not lessening but increasing by the stops. I was suffocating, facing problem in breathing so I longed towards the window, got some fresh air and then I was relieved. And then I saw this old lady was having some problem she was not looking fine. I asked her if she is ok and she told that she is not feeling well, and she was facing problem in talking with me. I asked her to take rest there was a pole I told her to hold it tight and stand she will be fine soon. And then I was again to my position. And i was looking outside the window enjoying the view.

Then suddenly I felt someone leaning on my back and I turn back to see who’s there and I saw the old lady was leaning closing her eyes. I hold her and asked her to open her eyes. And she was breathing heavily and by watching this in no time I understood that she is suffocating there. And then suddenly I asked the man sitting near the window to open it. The man got irritated and he told me that he will not open the window, its very cold there. In anger I told him this lady is dying here just open the fucking door. By hearing my voice he opened it. The air was now blowing in towards us but still the old lady was not in her sense. And suddenly she fell down and I was like oh my god what had just happened. I got down to her, her eyes were still closed, I was very nervous at that time I didn’t know what to do. I was shivering and I was frightened also.

That very moment I asked the bust to stop, I shouted stop the bus. This lady is dying here. And when the passenger near me saw the old lady in serious condition they also shouted to stop the bus and just seconds after the bus stopped. I searched by bag and took the water bottle and then hold the lady in my arms and asked her to wake up. But she wasn’t hearing anything from me, she was just breathing very slowly. And suddenly her eyes were closed. I told no no no no no… wake up wake up but she didn’t respond, I noticed that she was not breathing, I was totally shocked and again I tried to wake her up, I take out the bottle and pour some water into my palm and sprinkle it in her face but still she didn’t respond. And then I checked her pulse it was not working. And then I was like no this can’t be happen here, with me, the old lady was gone, she was no more. She died of suffocation. Then i ask some men to help me taking the old lady outside the bus. Two men helped me I taking the old lady outside the bus. All passengers got down the bus and gathered around us.  

And all the people were then expressing their condolence. Aww the old lady, poor lady, such a misfortune. All were showing their sympathy towards her. I was just sitting next to the dead old lady. And by hearing these kind words of the people I got wild, I shouted at the people to stop this nonsense, stop this fake sympathy. If you would have given her a seat she would be alive by now. She died of suffocation, she was not able to breathe and that’s why she is no more in this world. My anger was so high I blamed all of them for he death. I told them you all are responsible for her death. And tears came out of my eyes. It was the first time someone died in my arms. I was so helpless that I couldn’t help her out. I was so much in sorrow.  

P.S:- So please help the old people, give them seat in bus or train. You may help a soul to live in this world. You never know what’s in the future, and tomorrow a day will come when you will also grow old.