i wanted to be dead

Yes I wanted to be dead at that time. At that very time when I was feeling the pain at its peak. I was so helpless. I was not able to move also. The pain was every where, on my both shoulders, my back, my waists, my thighs and on my ankle joints. I was feeling like I am in hell. This was just 10 days ago. When the pain suddenly occur to my body. I was not even doing anything as usual like watching movies on my pc, and internet and facebook, nothing. My mind was not stable. All I was concentrating at my pain. How will it reduce. I was not feeling hungry also, ab sala itna pain se hi mera pet bhar gaya tha to aur bhuk kya lagta. It was very hard for me to move. I was like a dead body. The tears were coming out of my eyes aur sala meri bebasi to dekho main unhe ponch bhi nai sakta tha as my shoulders were in pain, to main bas apne head to pillow se sata kar asun ponchta tha. The pain was so much that I was not able to even stand on my feet also. And then one day I was not able to bear the pain and I broke into tears, and cried infront of my parents. I was feeling very bad ki main apne parents ke saamne ro raha hun but I couldn’t help myself at that time. Bahut jor se roya, mere parents ne kaha ki dnt worry beta u will be alright. Kitna pain denge tujhe god, sab sath mein mil ke jhelenge (my god yaar, ye likhte time bhi aankh se aasun nikal aate hain ). Itna pain hota tha ki khane ka mann bhi nai karta tha, bhuk lagne se bhi ye pain ke wajah se kha nai pata tha. Jab ye sab 5 din se upar ho gaya to maine socha ki kash yaar mar jata to kitna achha hota in sab pain se to mukti milti. This was not the first time when I thaught for being dead. Isse pehle bhi bahut baas aisa socha hai maine.

But then, maine socha ki yaar jo ho raha hai achha hi ho raha hai, hone do, aakhir kitne din tak chalega ye sab ek na ek din to khatam hoga hi na.aur waise bhi maine yahin pe hell dekh liya hai, phir ab to marne ke baad to mera heaven mein jagah pakki hai yaar, ha ha ha ha ha. Aur phir kahin koi khubsurat si, simple si ladki hai jisse main pyar karta hun, agar main chala gaya to use kaun pyar karega yaar. waise usse pyar karne wale bahut milenge, par mujh jaisa use koi nai milega. Aur phir mere dost log bhi to hain, unko kaun pareshan karega yaar.

So yes, i am happy with my life and my condition. Mujhe god se koi bhi shikwa nai hai ki yaar ye mujhe kya ho gaya, kyun hua, ek main hi mila tha kya, nothing. Bas I am enjoying my life in my own way. I LOVE MY LIFE YAAR. and i pray ki meri tarah kisi ki bhi aisi halat na ho, mere dushman ki bhi nai, coz mere dushman to sale waise bhi mar hi jayenge, ha ha ha ha ha. its very painful yaar, aur main nai chahta ki main jo experience kiya hai wo koi aur kare. so friends be happy, keep smiling and stay fit.