i broke up again

It was 14th of April, that means the day before yesterday. From 7 to 8 days the pain had started again in my body, my two feet and waist and shoulder were in pain. I was not able to walk from last two days. I was in great pain was not able to move properly also. I was feeling ok, the energy was in me but due to this unlimited pain I was not feeling comfortable. that whole day I was in bed only. It was Saturday evening, I tried to go to other room to see some tv programs I like, but when I tried to stand I couldn’t. I had feel enoromous pain in my leg, I was not able to stand also, all I was feeling pain in my both the feet. Then I decided to remain in my bed.

At around 10:30 pm my father asked me to have dinner. I told him that I m going to toilet and then I will have dinner. And from here my bad time started. Somehow I manage to stand, but was not able to move my leg because in my left leg near my knee I was feeling current type pain, and I my right thigh I was feeling tearing like pain. And due to this I was not able to move my leg forward. But anyhow I had gone to toilet at very difficulty. And when I was returning, the pain had increased at its best level. My leg was trembling and also I was feeling the pain die hardly. At that moment I felt that I can’t make it to my bed. Then also I was trying and the sweating had already started, the sweat was falling from my face to the ground. I was very much in sweat. sweat was coming out of me like water. When I felt that I can’t  make it I asked my father to give me support and I asked his hand, I hold his hand and started walking very slowly, the pain was killing me, I was breathing very highly, and on the other hand I was feeling current in my left leg for which I was about to fall, but because of my father’s support I was safe. I was standing in a place for sometimes, making strength and then was going forward, ek step aage rakhte hi left leg mein current type ka marta tha jisse aur bhi pain badh jata tha aur, dil ki dhadkan tej ho gayi thi, aur pain asahaniya ho gaya tha, phir aage step dalne mein bhi darr lagta tha. I was about to cry. Main haath dhone ke liye basin ki taraf ja raha tha to pitaji ne mana kar diya ki tujhe itna pain ho raha hai to rehne de, aur nai ab chal bed ki aur, then I had to turn around, but because of my pain it was very difficult for me to turn around, the pain was in its height, and when I turn around I had feel that much of pain which was out of my control and I can’t stop my tears and I broke down into tears, I cried, I cried loudly, jor jor se rone laga. My father asked me not to cry, but I can’t stop my tears and was crying and crying. He told me ki kuch nai hoga beta dnt worry, kitna pain dega tujhe god, sab seh lenge hum. But I was not able to stop at that time.

My father came to me I put my head on his shoulder and cried a lot. He was telling me to be strong, and I was trying to be strong also, but yaar agar pain hi itna ho raha hai ki aap seh na sako, aur aapke dono leg aapka saath na de rahe ho chalne mein pain ki wajah se, so I feel very bad for me ki main itna bhi nai kar pa raha hun, main bahut lachar tha tab, mujhe apni lachari pe hi rona aa raha tha ki meri halat ab ye ho gayi hai ki main ab chal bhi nai pa raha hun.  Aur phir jo roya hun main, bahut roya hun us din aur bahut der tak roya hun. Jahan tak mujhe pata hai maine aaj tak itna kabhi bhi nai roya tha. Us din maine pehli baar apne aap ko rote hue mehsus kiya,aur khud ki awaz ko suna rote hue, kitna bebas ho gaya tha main ki mujhe last mein rona pada apni is halat ke wajah se. phir kuch der ke baad main shant hua, mera rona kam hua lekin aankhone se aasun nikalna band hi nai ho rahe the. Phir maine pitaji ka haath pakda aur dheere dheere wapas aaya apne bed pe. Aur thoda rest kiya. To kuch der ke baad mujhe achha feel hua jitna pain ho raha tha ab usse thoda kam tha, but pain ho raha tha.

But kuch bhi ho yaar, I thanked god ki main sahi salamat hun, pain hai to kya hua, kabhi na kabhi to chutega hi na. aur marna to chahta hi nai hun main abhi chahe jitna bhi pain ho, arre pagal hai kya yaar, abhi tak kisi ko I love u tak nai bola hai yaar maine, main itni jaldi marne wala nai hun. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.