I broke up again this time

It was the day when my brother and sis in law were visiting sonepur. And I was suffering from my pain. Yes again I was suffering from the pain. It all started from march and it lasted till august. Now I am ok not 100% fit but now I am able to walk and m doing my daily works. B ut at that time I was not good, my right shoulder and elbow, my both knees and my back were in pain. Swelling was there in my both knees. I was not able to walk and also I was not sleeping properly at night, due to the pain in my neck, right shoulder and right elbow. I was having problem in sleeping. I was not feeling good about this. And one day I was out of control and told my father that I cant bear all this thing lets go to bbsr. I had taken appointment from a doc also, but the date was 5 days later. That night mother had called the doctor who was treating me here in sonepur, doc came and asked me whats the problem, I explained him my situation and he had given me a pain killer and sedation. And the next day I was feeling a bit nice.


Then after 2 days or so my brother has to come to sonepur. And my health was not in good condition at all. The pain was all over my neck, elbow, shoulder and knee. I was feeling current like sensation below my right knee, and cramping on the right side of my back, but at that time  somehow both were in a bit control. But still I was feeling uncomfortable. I was sad bcoz my brother was coming and I was not in good condition, I was very much upset. I was feeling bad that my brother will see me in this condition, I don’t want anyone to see me in this condition, I was so helpless.


Then my mother came from her duty and she was massaging my right leg, it was about to be 4 pm, I was not feeling well so I had not had my lunch and I was thinking about my brother, I am in so bad condition and now my brother will come and see me and he will also be upset coz of me. And thinking of this my eyes were full of tears. I was fully emotional at that time. I asked my mother to have lunch but she refused and the moment she refused I could not control my tears coming out of my eyes I asked mother to give me a towel and when she handed over me one, I burst out, and I cried loudly. I don’t know what was on my mind but I was feeling very bad for my self, that I was in so bad condition. The pain was taking control of me and I was not in good mood to take the pain. My mother told me not to cry, don’t give up hope, don’t be hopeless, just believe in yourself. But I was only crying and crying, tears were coming out like a fountain, seeing me my parents were also in tears. But it was not in control of me I was thinking about my brother and suddenly tears came out, main itna lachar tha ki main nai chahta tha ki b hai mujhe is condition mein dekhe aur wo dukhi ho jaye, so that’s why I cried. Bahut roya tha us din mein. N with me my mom and dad also cried.


We all were in tears, and after sometime I was silent. And I was a bit good. Tears washed my soul at that time. And I was ready to face my brother. It was so difficult for me to burst out in front of my parents. And yes it was the situation when I broke up again.